The Principle: The sting of not being valued by peers can plant seeds of unworthiness and self loathing deep into a child’s soul. To counter this pain, turn the focus away from the incident by focusing on how to express compassion toward other victims of isolation.
Surviving Valentines’ Day and other traumas of life:
On this website, we have talked about physiological memory, about the emotional residue that can linger after a difficult event, and about the need to create new opportunities for success. We continue …
Years ago, St. Valentine’s Day was a simple holiday. Every child put a Valentine into the mailbox of every other student. No one was left out.
But today, the practice of honoring one another on Valentine’s Day has become a quagmire filled with opportunities for rejection. And the sting of not being valued – or perceiving that one is not valued – can plant seeds of unworthiness deep into a person’s soul. Knowing how complicated and far reaching rejection can become, we offer a strategy to counter its sting.
1. First of all, remember that even if NO ONE expresses appreciation for your child this Valentine’s Day, God loves him and values him. Unconditionally and without question. Tell him. It is settled.
2. Secondly, since Valentine’s Day, by default, highlights loneliness and isolation, teach your child to choose one person who would ordinarily be overlooked, and make a plan to honor them. Beginning with a family meeting, ask the children who – in their class – stands alone, never speaks during lunch, or never makes eye contact. Your children will rise to this selfless cause. Then consider who is “outside your gate.” Maybe there is a widowed neighbor or a single woman with no special someone in her life.
And just in case you did not know … we love you … our readers … and appreciate you every day.
– The End –